Phillip Schofield revealed he sought professional help to try to come to terms with his sexuality.
The TV host, who came out as gay on Friday, went into therapy as he was so confused about his sexuality, having been married for almost 27 years.
He says he knew he was gay, but tried to bury it because he was happy with his wife Steph and his two daughters, Molly and Ruby.
His inner turmoil even led to him have suicidal thoughts.
Phillip, 57, told The Sun On Sunday: “I went to seek professional help, I sat down and poured out my heart.”
He added: “Whatever was ‘there’ I thought, ‘OK, whatever this is, you stay back because I am happy’.”
He said he would compare himself critically to other gay people, who appeared to have no confusion over their sexuality.
Phillip also insisted he was happy on his wedding day, despite knowing deep down he was gay.
He said he has been “naive” but would not be drawn on whether he had had a relationship with a man or whether he was in a relationship now, adding that he wanted to keep that private.
Meanwhile his wife Steph said “We have had to face the most emotionally painful time in our 27 years of marriage.”
On Friday, Phil took to Instagram to announce he was gay in a lengthy post.
“You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing – and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years,” he wrote.
“With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay.”
“This is something that has caused many heart-breaking conversations at home.”
He continued: “My family have held me so close: they have tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusions. Yet still I can’t sleep and there have been some very dark moments.
“My inner conflict contrasts with an outside world that has changed so very much for the better. Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud.
“Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.”
He concluded the post urging people to be kind ,especially to his family.
Shortly afterwards, he gave an emotional interview with This Morning co host Holly Willoughby.
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